KP – Bonjour, cheeky monkey

Welcome to the second post in my Toddler Life series.  If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll be familiar with my #toddlerlife tweets, featuring my three year old nephew, Kaine (KP). Carry on reading for the funny things he says…

KP – My having a party with pork pies, cake, chocolate, ham butties and beer.

Kaine on the toilet holding my hands for balance and singing, ‘Row, Row, Row the Boat’.

KP – Look, binge bob.
Me – What?
KP – BINGE BOB!
* He meant Spongebob

KP – Only Danty Sarah calls me KP
* Yes, little buddy

The toilet is ‘tow-lit’

Chocolate dessert all over his face
Mum (his Nan) – Bloody hell, Kaine, be careful
Me – He’s only two
KP – Bloody hell, my only two

Me – Is Luke your friend?
KP – Yep.
Me – Is Meadow your friend?
KP – No, she can’t talk.

Me – Shall we go and get your milk?
KP – No, you get it, my stay here.
* He’s not stupid

Arguing with me that his Nanny isn’t my Mum.

Me – Do you need a wee?
KP – Nah, none come out.

KP – No, Sarah.
Me – Yes, KP
KP – Go way, Jose
Me – It’s ‘no way Jose’
KP – Me not, go way, Jose.

He turns songs off if I sing them.

Me – Are you picking your bum?
KP – Yep.

KP – My going Trunk or Treating.

Me – Wow, Kainey, you’re very scary
KP – My know, my a bonfire
Me – Oh, I thought you were a vampire.



Let me know any funny things you’ve heard kids say and whether you like my Toddler Life series.


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