- *** Looking at a picture on Instagram of one of those milkshakes with doughnuts, flakes, brownies etc in ***
- ‘Oh my god, why don’t we know any people, shops, fucking hell, cafes, that do these?’
- ‘I’ve got a pain in the chest of my boob.’
- Me – ‘I’m going to watch YouTube. No, Whatsapp.’
Bf – ‘Snapchat?’
Me – ‘That.’ - Me – ‘We haven’t watched Better Call Wall. No, Paul. Oh for fucks sake.’
Bf – ‘Saul.’ - ‘Can you put the fan on?’ – I meant the lamp.
- ‘I need my f-f-f-f oh fucking hell, the fucking medicine that I drink.’
- ‘Do you need to cook the scosage and scramble regg?’ – Sausage and scrambled egg.
- Me – ‘My back is such a sis-tas-ter. No, dis-stas-ter.’
Bf – ‘Disaster.’
Me – *glares at him* - Me – ‘I hope we can fit a desk in the bedroom, it’ll make my heart happy. I love washi tape.’
Bf – ‘In completely unrelated news.’ - Me – ‘How does he speak every accent? No, religion?’
Bf – ‘Language.’ - Me – ‘I need some lethal, lethal, lethal, least ampy-hip-sam-meems.’
Bf – ‘Ampy-hip-sam-meems?’
Me – ‘I said ‘lethal’ so many times because I don’t know the word.
Bf – ‘Antihistamine?’
Me – ‘Them.’ - Bf – ‘What did you watch last night?’
Me – ‘About twenty minutes of Half Upon a Time.’ – Once Upon a Time. - Bf – ‘I’m still hungry.’
Me – ‘What do we have?’
Bf – ‘Bread and cheese.’
Me – ‘Have bread on cheese then.’ - Me – ‘I’m quite upset that it costs for tushing the floylet.’ – Flushing the toilet.
- *** Went to put my phone in my bra. Wasn’t wearing a bra. Phone fell through my top and onto the floor ***
- Bf – ‘You’re never coherent this time of night.’
Me – ‘I am cod-herent.’ - Me – ‘If you want a face, I’ll face you with a plant.’ – I meant, ‘if you want a fight, I’ll punch you in the face.
- Bf – ‘How long does it need charging?’
Me – ‘Read the words.’
Bf – ‘You mean the instructions?’ - Me – ‘What I go say. What I go say. What I go say. What I say go.’
Bf – ‘S.’ - Me – ‘It’s so they don’t get f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f’
Bf – ‘Food on their clothes.’
Me – ‘That’. - ‘I’m going to face my wash.’ – Wash my face.
- ‘I don’t like splashios. Wow, I’m putting that in my brain flog.’ – *Pistachios *fog
- ‘Will you blind the close?’ – Close the curtains.
- ‘I’ve seen Neil live.’ – Ne-Yo.
- ‘You’re such a dwack.’ – I don’t even know what I was trying to say.
- ‘There’s too much vamineger.’ – *Vinegar.
So, there you go guys, my brain is a joke – quite literally. Let me know your favourites in the comments. I think Ne-Yo will forever be ‘Neil’ to Ian and I now. Oops.
I love the how does he speak every religion. Also petition to make you're such a dwack our new insult. I love brain fog haha
Beth x
Mermaid in Disguise
I love the how does he speak every religion. Also petition to make you're such a dwack our new insult. I love brain fog haha
Beth x
Mermaid in Disguise
hahaha love this post! My favourites have to be 'I've got a pain in the chest of my boob' and 'How does he speak every accent? No, religion' XD
Sarah | Raiin Monkey
hahaha love this post! My favourites have to be 'I've got a pain in the chest of my boob' and 'How does he speak every accent? No, religion' XD
Sarah | Raiin Monkey
Hahaha we'll have to start using dwack more x
Hahaha we'll have to start using dwack more x
Haha thank you x
Haha thank you x