Since the star of #Toddlerlife is now four, it’s only appropriate I change the name of my series to #LittleManLife. I realise it’s been absolutely ages since I shared a post in this series and I apologise, I’m shit, I know. But, if you’ve been waiting for it, or never seen a #Toddlerlife post before, here you go.

My nephew, Kaine, is my favourite little person in the world and he comes out with the most hilarious and adorable things. So here we go.

Me – You’re my favourite
KP – Nanny my favourite
Me – Am I your second favourite?
KP – *sighs* Yeah

Me – When I come to Nan’s, you’re not sleeping with me
KP – Oh yes my am, Sarah

KP – My had a smelly poo and my send it down to motorway to you
Me – Eee, no thanks smelly bum
KP – You a smelly ice cream
Me – Why aren’t you in Scotland?
KP – My come home. My just move you to my other ear, my can’t hear you properly
KP – Sarah, you can fly away
Me – I cant fly
KP – Just open your window and fly out. It easy peasy
Me – What did you get up to at school?

KP – Making
Me – What did you make?

KP – Good stuff
KP – Sarah, my was watching Paw Patrol but my ask my Nanny to turn it off because my was getting fed up with it
KP – My saw a Mr Skinny Legs the other day
*what he calls spiders 
*He didn’t want to go to nursery because the other kids annoy him
KP – My can’t go to school today, my got fish pox
Me – What’re you doing at Nan’s house?
KP – My just love this house so much
*15 minute long phone call
KP – My just got a hundred more things to tell you
KP – You go in your wheelchair or crutches?
Me – Wheelchair, bud
KP – My will take good care of you

Me – Ooo I like your top
KP – It got a handy pocket for money
KP – Sarah, my got loads of things to tell you. Some of them is good and some of them is peaceful
KP – Auntie Sarah, my need a bath coz my is very dusty
Me – Oh shit
KP – Don’t say naughty words or Father Christmas will be very mad at you
KP – Auntie Sarah, you is a chatterbox
Me – So are you
KP – My is very quiet
KP – When my get big, my be a dog
Me – I went to London yesterday
KP – Aww my never been to London. My go when my 4
Me – You are 4
KP – My go on Friday then
*Showing KP stickers on Facetime
KP – My have all of them, my love them. My will ring you back in a minute

*20 minutes later
Me – KP said he’d ring me back
Nan – Why haven’t you rang Auntie Sarah back?
KP – My been far too busy

Nan – Do you want to speak to her now?
KP – Tell her my call her in a bit
KP – My will cry when my see my Auntie Sarah as my will be so happy. She my princess
KP – We got down and dirty at the park
KP – Auntie Sarah, what did you do in the olden days?
Me – Woah, hang on, little buddy I’m only 30
KP – My staying at my nannies tonight and tomorrow
Me – That’s cool
KP – My just so sick of my mummy and daddy
Give me a follow on Twitter for more #LittleManLife


  1. Reply

    Oh my god I just about died reading this 😂 he's so funny, your tweets about him make my day!

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