I’ve realised that I’ve not posted a #toddlerlife post since November, and my nephew has certainly said A LOT since then. The majority of my conversations with him are either via phone or FaceTime as I live three hours away. 

*Gets in bath with Grandad and wees*
Grandad – Oi, it’s a bath not a piss pot
KP – PISS POT. PISS POT. PISS POT.

Me – What you doing?
KP – Food for my mouth.

Mum – Quick Kaine, I need a wee
KP – Get your gary out and go in the bushes, Nanny.
*Gary is what he calls his widge
KP – My not leaving Sarah, my looking after her.

KP – My making you something
Me – What’re you making?
KP – Butter.

KP – My not go to Scotland again, it shut.
Me – Guess what I had last night? Salted caramel cheesecake
KP – Aww my love that
Me – You’ve never had it
KP – So?
KP – Why you naked?
Me – I’m not, I’m wearing a towel
KP – Why you naked?

Me – Love you, bud. Bye
KP – Love you, bye

Me – Bye monkey
KP – Bye monkey

KP – Hello, my naked
Me – Why’re you naked?

KP – Putting my jarmies on. You naked?
Me – No mate.

KP – You cut your beard?
Ian – Yes

KP – You cut your hair?

Ian – No, don’t you like my hair?
KP – No, get the hairdressers

KP – Ian, what you doing?
Ian – The washing
KP – What for?

Ian – It needs washing
KP – You dirty?

Ian – No, the clothes are

KP – Tell her I’ll speak in one sec
Me – Has it been one sec yet?
KP – No, one big sec.

KP – You got me a present?
Me – No, would you like a present?
KP – No thanks.

Me – Can I have a biscuit please?
KP – No

Me – Why?
KP – It’s only for big boys and you is too little.

KP – My ring you on my own
Me – Did you? You’re so clever, what’s my phone number?
KP – 4.

KP – What you doing?
Me – Just sat in bed
KP – You get up right now.

Mum – I love you very much, Kaine
KP – I love you very carefully, Nan.
KP – Sarah, you got your tattoo on?
Me – Yes, I have them all on, bud.
KP – Me making a coffee and reading my letter
Me – Ah, two things you can’t do
KP – My can, my Spider-Man.
KP – Sarah, me having a wee on my potty. You watch it.

KP – Sarah, you got a gary?
Me – No

KP – Ian got a gary?
Me – Yes
KP – Why you not got a gary?
Me – Because I’m a girl
KP – Girl’s not have gary’s?
Mum – Girls have flowers
Me – Oh, bloody hell.

KP – What’s that?
Me – My purse
KP – My have some money please?

Me – *gives him 20p*
KP – My need more for my mates

KP – My going to drive a monster truck and you go in the boot
Me – You can’t drive
KP – My can drive actually

KP – What’s that?
Me – A Toblerone
KP – Aww my love bo-bub-bone.

He’s the absolute best and always makes me smile.

30 Comments

  1. Reply

    This is SO cute.
    So funny the things little ones say.
    I love this one;
    KP – What's that?
    Me – My purse
    KP – My have some money please?
    Me – *gives him 20p*
    KP – My need more for my mates
    Hahahaha.

  2. Reply

    This is SO cute.
    So funny the things little ones say.
    I love this one;
    KP – What's that?
    Me – My purse
    KP – My have some money please?
    Me – *gives him 20p*
    KP – My need more for my mates
    Hahahaha.

  3. D

    Reply

    I always love to read your toddlerlife tweets, bairns come out with some brilliant stuff!

    xo

  4. D

    Reply

    I always love to read your toddlerlife tweets, bairns come out with some brilliant stuff!

    xo

  5. Reply

    I love the stuff kids come out with! My boyfriends 3 year old niece constantly comes out with random stuff, mainly along the lines of 'Steven kicked me in the face at the park yesterday but I was brave and told him he was naughty and then Nanny made him go to bed' Steven is my 28 year old boyfriend, didn't see her yesterday & deffo didn't kick her in the face (or get sent to bed) lol. Love your toddler life tweets!

    http://zoeisclueless.com

  6. Reply

    I love the stuff kids come out with! My boyfriends 3 year old niece constantly comes out with random stuff, mainly along the lines of 'Steven kicked me in the face at the park yesterday but I was brave and told him he was naughty and then Nanny made him go to bed' Steven is my 28 year old boyfriend, didn't see her yesterday & deffo didn't kick her in the face (or get sent to bed) lol. Love your toddler life tweets!

    http://zoeisclueless.com

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