Plus size woman sat in powerchair wearing floral dress, black jacket, tights and Dr Martens

Since posting more pictures of me online the influx of creepy private messages and comments has soared. They either want to cure me of my disability, marry me or both, and quite frankly I’d much rather they just pissed off.

I received this comment on an image of me sat in my wheelchair the other week:

‘I’ve always wanted to try a chick in a wheelchair.’
Screenshot of ableist instagram comment
Dear Randy (I know it’s Jonathan but this seems more fitting),
I have a feeling that nobody taught you any manners when growing up and that’s a shame because common decency and being polite are two really good qualities that you should consider using.
I also believe that nobody taught you the correct way to interact with women as the disgusting comment you left on my photograph is something you should never say to anyone, abled or disabled. You can’t ‘try’ people; I’m not something served up on a buffet table. I’m not an object; I’m not something you tick off your list. I’m a person, a human being. You probably have some archaic way of thinking and believe disabled people are alien but you are very wrong, Randy.
You probably consider women, abled and disabled, commodities and have zero respect for us. We’re not here for you to sample. We’re not here for you at all.
By offering to ‘try’ me, you’re not doing me a favour. Believe it or not, disabled people are desirable, we’re sexy as hell and we don’t sit around waiting for men to fall into our mentions donating their services to us as if they’re doing something gallant and brave. You’re not a hero, you’re not virtuous and you’re not philanthropic; you’re nauseating. You think by presenting yourself to me that you’re my only option? Sod off, mate. If I wasn’t in a relationship, you’d not even be on my radar. It’s not witty, it’s not romantic and it’s not charming.
If this is the kind of messages you’re sending to women, it’s obvious why you’re single and I highly doubt you’ll be inundated with replies because you’re creepy and gross.
Furthermore, I’m not a fucking ‘chick’. If you’d have said this to me in person, which I know you wouldn’t because you’re one of those men that are only confident when hiding behind a keyboard, I’d have punched you in the fucking face…with a brick because I don’t like touching misogynists.
Please make sure this is the last time you say this kind of thing to someone.
A wheelchair user

Unsurprisingly this isn’t the only ableist comment I’ve had, I get them on my Instagram account on a daily basis. They’re always men, the messages are always repulsive and I always block them. I’ve started a hashtag on Twitter #AbleistCommentOTD so check that out to see the kind of bullshit I’ve shared recently.
I love a bit of ableism wrapped up in misogyny. Said no one ever.


  1. Reply

    I've seen how many of these comments you get on a daily basis and I honestly don't know why these men think it's ok to make comments like they do, this post is ace btw and you was right I do love it!! perfectly put x

  2. Reply

    Love how you stand up for yourself and the community. You're so brave! I can't believe some people even think things like that… and then decide to comment it…

  3. Caroline Coombs


    Brilliantly put – love this piece! Whether you are able bodied or disabled this is a matter of respect and decency. You put ol' Randy back in his corner – and other men who think it is ok to treat people this way!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *