Ian and I watched an episode of Supernatural (because I’ve only recently got into it and I’m obsessed) and the pain got worse and worse. At around 11pm, I had to go into my parents room and wake my Pops up to make me a hot water bottle. The cold that I had been outside in for less than ten seconds had taken up residence in my knees and the searing agony I was feeling was too much to handle. I think because I’d gone from inside the warmth of my brothers house into the bitter frost of outside, it got me. I had all my medication and hoped the heat of the water bottle would help.
It didn’t. The combination of meds and heat didn’t take the edge off at all and I began to get really annoyed with myself for not covering up properly when I went outside. As the night went on, my pain got worse, so much so that I was in tears, and I’m not one to cry from pain. Every movement hurt, I felt like I was being stabbed in the legs and they started to become stiff. I wanted to try and retain mobility so tried to bend my knees to help with the stiffness but it only resulted in me feeling worse and close to screaming so I admitted defeat and stayed as still as I could.
I was exhausted. Pain is tiring. It takes everything out of you and I hadn’t felt this bad in a while but I couldn’t sleep. I was shattered, I wanted to sleep but I was in far too much pain to be able to. At points I did drift off and was awoken by any slight movement and Ian said I was crying in my sleep.
Altogether, I probably slept for about an hour. I felt a little better the next day but I was still in a lot of pain and had a loss of movement.
I had so many plans for the next few days; I had content to shoot and people to meet up with but it all got cancelled. I stayed in bed, resting and recovering. I gave myself a hard time for not being able to work and missing out on plans but my health is more important and I need to give myself a break more.
Luckily the day before my birthday my pain levels got back to ‘normal’ chronic pain levels and I could enjoy my weekend with family and friends.
I need to consider my dodgy body more often and how the slightest thing can affect it and set me back for days, if not weeks or months. Being outside in the freezing cold had a massive impact on me and it was an absolutely horrible time. My body suffered, all for ten seconds outside getting in and out of my car. It’s almost laughable at how such a small thing can be so substantial. Luckily I can look back and laugh at the cause now but I have certainly learnt to wrap up even if I’m just going to the car, and I certainly didn’t find it funny when I was laid up in bed crying.
Take care of your body, especially if it’s a fragile cage like mine.