I haven’t felt this productive in such a long time and it feels good. I was stuck in a cycle of wanting to be productive but putting things off as other things got in the way.
When I finished my MA (in December 2013), I intended on starting a blog, writing a novel, getting more poetry and short stories published…just basically writing. Writing until my little heart was content, but I didn’t do any of it. Every night I’d go to bed and beat myself up about not picking up a pen. I mean it’s not like my life is busy. Living at home was chaotic, my two year old nephew was always around and instead of taking some time for myself to get creative, I’d play with him. I don’t regret it at all, my nephew is my tiny bestie but I wish I’d have got my laptop out after he’d gone to sleep and bashed out some words.
It wasn’t writers block that I was experiencing, it was priorities. If I could spend all day playing Lego with my nephew, I would and I did. I just didn’t manage my time when the baby went home/to sleep well.
A few months ago, my boyfriend and I moved from up north to Northants and I was finally reintroduced to Word and Blogger. I can’t even begin to tell you how good it feels to be writing again. I love it. I’ve always written; my mum has some awful little poems I wrote stashed away in her memory box of ghosts that liked toast. I was an odd child. I have multiple poems I’ve written over the years that helped me vent my frustration at my illness, my situation, the world. I’m better at writing than speaking. I can talk, I talk a lot, but when it comes to emotional stuff, I’m much better with a pen in my hand.
I digress; we moved three hours away and the change of scenery has definitely improved my productivity. I don’t even procrastinate half as much. I’m loving writing my blog, I’m loving the blogging community and all the opportunities it has already given me, and most of all, I’m loving that I’m producing something.